Dear Dr. Cary,
My husband wants an open marriage. I finally confronted my husband with his repeated infidelities. He suggested that our marriage might prosper if both of us had other sexual relationships, a sort of open marriage that would keep us a couple but give us both diversity. I’m not sure I want to do anything like this. Yet, we have two young children, and I want my marriage to stay intact. Could this be a stage?
One Man Woman
Dear ‘One Man Woman’,
This is likely not a stage for him as it appears he is a repeat offender or at least a serial philanderer. It really depends on a couple of issues.
1. Why have you put up with or allowed this to happen for so long and don’t tell me the usual garbage that you just wanted to keep the marriage for the sake of the children because that is often an excuse for lack of fortitude.
2. Do you want to sleep with other men? Would that make you happy with the both of you going on with your merry life screwing everyone and most of all your children?
3. It’s not a stage as your husband has been engaged in this infidelity for some time and you have enabled him all for the sake of keeping your family.
Best case scenario is to seek some joint counselling, but it may have gone far beyond that. If there is no resolution I suggest you cut your losses and perhaps find another man that will one day treat you as a real partner.
And by the way’ the longer you put up with your Husband’s behavior the more likely your children will be aware of it.
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