Dear Dr. Cary,
I’ve fallen in love with a soldier I met online. I have been in some of the worst relationships in the past and now this one, (which is a long distance relationship) seems like it’s the one!!
I met this guy 4 1/2 months ago online and we just hit it off! Everything went so perfectly. I found out he is deployed in Afghanistan right now but will soon be home. We would talk almost everyday whether it be a phone call or email. Then on Christmas day he told me he loved me. I was ecstatic because I have fallen in love with him also – BUT it seems like things have slowed down.
I no longer talk to him as much as I did in the beginning so I started getting doubts. I told him about the way I felt several times. He has explained himself to me each time however, for some reason I just can’t help but question him. I’m worried that if this IS the real thing I might be pushing him away. It upsets him that I have doubts.
What do I do before I ruin the best thing thats ever happend to me????
Nicole in Knoxville
You said that you met him online, but have you actually met him in person? Long distance relationships often start out exciting because you want each other but you can’t see one another very often. In your case, you need to understand that your guy is in a War Zone and may possibly be in harm’s way going through major stress. I would wait until he comes home and you really have a chance to know one another in a normal life setting. (Assuming he is still interested). There is nothing you can do now. Try communicating your concerns but tread very gently.
Ah yes women always fall for the uniform. Let me know if it materializes into what you’re hoping for.
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